The Aether Fanclub
by The Write Philosophia
Summary: A journey to the Aether may seem simple enough, but, in reality, you'll need more than a pickaxe for your trip. Good thing there's a club for that, with a record high number of members: two. Kradness and Kaito, the founders of this fine fanclub, are childhood friends that dream of stepping on the soft grass of the Aether. Join our club today, and discover the wonders of the Aether!
1. Aria and Mustaches

"Zepiroh?"

"No no no! Zephyroo."

"Zehphyo."

"Look at my mouth. Ze-phy-roo."

"... Zeefiro."

"...You're hopeless, aren't you?" The frustrated miner collapsed into his chair, wondering how dumb could his friend be. He was a gifted scholar - in fact, _gifted _was an understatement for someone who could learn how to brew a complex potion in less that five minutes. However, his classmate...

"Zepheerow?" ... wasn't as blessed with knowledge as him. A great fighter, yes, all lessons with the word 'violence' on it floated, but learning facts was like a rock in his head - it sunk down to the bottom of his brain.

"I think that's enough learning for today, oh wise Kradness," Kaito sarcastically remarked, shutting his book with a dull _t__hump. _They'll never get to the Aether, they knew that. The price for tickets was always at a record high, and seemed to never lower. It was as if there were less and less airplanes flying to the Aether, but there were actually more flying to the island in the clouds. Kaito and Kradness, childhood friends, had always dreamed of going to the Aether, but due to being merely miners who, when blessed with luck, found a piece of coal, they couldn't afford such a lengthy journey. That, and they always had to pay for their occasional "accidents."

"Hey, Kaito! Remember that time where we accidentally lit the TNT in that coffee shop?" Kradness asked, a big grin on his face. Kaito couldn't help but let a smile creep onto his lips. It _was_ funny, despite the manager's spit flying onto his face as he screamed curses at him and his best friend.

"BOOM!" Kaito exclaimed, making an exploding hand motion. "And that's how you blow up a coffee shop!" The two best friends suddenly laughed in unision. Although it costed more than a month's pay for compensation, it was pretty funny to see stuff blow up.

Kradness sighed happily, and grinned. "So when do you think we'll finally go? Y'know, to the Aether?"

Kaito looked down a bit. "Not sure... but we'll go someday! I'm sure of it!" As he said those words, he wasn't sure if they were true. He shook the negative thought out of his head. Negativity would only bring sadness and frustration. Look up! Towards the Aether!

"Hopefully soon." Kradness took out a loaf of bread and tore it into two large chunks. He took a hungry bit out of his half and handed the other to Kaito. "Hey, how's your friend from the Aether?"

Kaito smiled, remembering the letter he had recently received a few days ago. She was a fast replier, in contrast to the sluggish pace Kaito always sent his letters in. "Great, great! She hasn't changed a bit from when she moved into our town during high school."

"What was her name? Air or something?"

"Aria. You should remember better. She went to our school as a foreign exchange student. At least I keep in touch with her."

Kradness pondered the name for a bit. "They sure give strange names in the Aether, huh?"

"Hey, Aria's pretty nice. She's the one that bought the Aether Guide for us!" Kaito objected, shoving the mentioned book in Kradness's face. It taught them lessons in the Aether's culture, as well as mobs to watch out for.

Kradness gently shoved the book away from his face. "Well," he said, swallowing the last of his bread, "I'll just leave so you can go send love letters to your girlfriend from the Aether." Kaito grumbled something incoherent as Kradness triumphantly grinned.

"Hey, Kradness, shouldn't you be going somewhere?" hissed Kaito.

"Oh, crap! Crap! Crap! I forgot! My sis is going to kill me! Ugh... damn pigs! Why do they have to be sick today?" Kradness quickly grabbed his backpack and charged through the door. He shouted behind him, "Thanks for the lesson, Kaito!" He dashed away and turned a corner.

Kaito looked around his house. Better get cleaning up for tomorrow's lesson. Or maybe he should reply to Aria first?

* * *

"Kradness! Kradness! Kradness!" Kaito was practically flying through the streets of the city, excitement in his eyes. He wouldn't wait - no, can't wait - for Kradness to arrive at his cramped house for today's Aether lesson. He had to tell the news _now_, and he'll find him. Before he knew it, he had collided into a stranger. "Ah, sorry, sorry!"

"Dude! You look like you won the lottery or something? What's up with you?" Kaito looked up to see his friend looking at him, the same look he gave people when he didn't understand what they were saying. Which was all the time.

Kaito panted, "A-Aria... she's going to... help us get to the Aether!"

"W-What?" A shocked Kradness gasped in surprise at the news. "This isn't... this is real, right?"

Kaito dug into his pocket and took out a slip of paper. "See for yourself." He shoved the paper in his friend's face.

_Kaito,_

_Great news! I found a few people who are willing to bring you to the Aether! It's so cool! They are going to tax you, though. About 500 Ambrosium Shards (Sorry, but I don't know the currency over where you live!). But it's worth the cheap price! I'll meet you and your friend at the airport! I can't wait for you two to be here! Sorry for the unusually short letter, I've been pretty busy this week and today is not an exception. Ugh... Aether business. Anyway, see you two later!_

_~ Aria_

"Although she talks about it casually, it's an international trip, right?" Kradness said while Kaito was neatly folding the letter back into his pocket. He nodded in reply.

"Yep," Kaito nodded. "And I did the math. The price is... um..." he muttered something quickly under his breath.

"What?"

"Um... 50 gold ingots. Per person."

"... We'll never go to the Aether."

Kaito sighed and turned around. "Well, see ya."

"Hey!" Kradness said, "where are you going?"

"Gotta get a job. Mining for coal isn't enough for the trip." Kaito continued walking away, searching for Help Wanted signs.

"...Wow, he must love that girl a lot," Kradness muttered to himself. A bit too loudly. Kaito whipped around with a glare sharp enough to pierce through even the enderdragon's scales.

"I heard that, you know!"

* * *

Each word that escaped from the rather 'hearty' man was ignored by Kaito, in a new uniform and a shining name tag. _Oh, I wonder what type of food the Aether has... I think that it has a lot of eggs, since there's so many of those birds there. Then again, it's on a cloud, so maybe... ooh~ Maybe the food is made of clouds! That would be -_

"Kaito? Do you understand?" He was quickly snapped back into reality.

"Y-Y-Yes sir!"

"Good! I won't repeat this a second time, so go do your job." His boss entered the dark Employees Only room, leaving Kaito alone with no clue on how to do his job.

"...Um." Kaito looked around the empty shop. For a convenience store, it was pretty empty. But thank goodness. The uniform wasn't exactly part of the latest fashion trends. Nested on his head was a massive sombrero that had to be occasionally readjusted so it wouldn't fall. A poncho covered his usual green short-sleeved shirt. And under his nose was an itchy, fake mustache. Maybe he shouldn't have taken the job after all. Damn themed stores.

_Ring ring. _The door opened as a customer walked inside. "Welcome -" Kaito began to greet, but the customer didn't acknowledge him. And thank goodness, because Kaito recognized who exactly the customer was.

There was Kradness, browsing through the junk food (as expected) and having conflicting feelings between ultra spicy potato chips and sugared sweets. Unexpected paranoia crept up on Kaito. If he saw him like this, he'd whip up his phone, _flash, _and there would be easy blackmail material. And he knew Kradness will use blackmail anywhere, anytime.

_Out of all the convenience stores in the city, why this one?! _But if he doesn't serve him, his boss would get angry. Oh Notch, is he screwed! His sombrero accidentally bumped into a shelf. "Gah!" He quickly put the sombrero back on.

"... Are you okay?" Kradness asked, being the friendly person he was.

Kaito pitched his voice to make it sound deeper. "Y-Yes. Please, continue shopping." Kradness looked at him curiously for a second, as if knowing the deep-voiced cashier was actually his friend, but shrugged and continued browsing. Kaito sighed in relief. Maybe he could hide using his sombrero...? He tipped the hat to cover his face. It was quite at an odd angle, but it did hide his identity. Which was better than receiving stares from the people passing by outside. Soon his friend came and placed a bag of chips on the desk. Kaito soon panicked once again as awkward silence settled in. He couldn't see a thing. The sombrero's angle covered his eyesight completely. He asked slowly in a deep voice, "How much is this...?"

Kradness looked confused at the cashier but replied, "Three Coal Pieces."

"O-Okay, please give me the money." Kradness handed him an iron bar instead. "W-Why so much?"

"That's the only thing I have on me. Can I have the change, please?" Kaito opened the cash register. Coal was the exact same as emeralds to him. He exhaled in his frustration and desperation.

"Please take nine Coal Pieces from the cash register."

"Um... excuse me?"

"Take nine Coal Pieces from the cash register." Kradness looked at him for a second before doing so.

"Thank you, please come back again soon," Kaito said, trying to sound as positive as possible. Kradness walked away quickly, slightly freaked out and confused. Kaito sighed in relief and took off his sombrero. _That was close..._ A cough was heard, and Kaito turned to see his boss glaring at him, a combination of rage and shock clearly written in red on his face.

* * *

"Oh, hey Kaito, why so grumpy -" Kaito collapsed into his seat, with a cranky huff.

He exclaimed, "My boss fired me!"

"That's your own fault." Kradness stood up straight suddenly and mocked, "'Please take nine Coal Pieces from the cash register,'" Kradness mocked.

"W-Wait! You knew that was me?" Kaito pressed.

"I think you can turn Aria on with that sexy mustache!"

"That's not funny!" Kaito snapped, which only sent Kradness flying into laughter.

"Really, I never knew you were so scared of me!"

"Dude, you _blackmail _people."

"But I wouldn't do that to _you!_ I'm really sorry I made you lose your job, but at least I got you out of wearing that weird costume."

Kaito couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, that's for sure. I mean, that mustache itched like crazy."

"I could tell."

"Maybe I should wait for a bit to go to the Aether."

Kradness looked a bit shocked. "Really? How come?"

"Well, we're poor, and we still haven't learned a lot about the Aether"

Kaito's friend nodded his head slowly. "You do make a point..."

"First semester of the Aether Fanclub just started!" Kaito exclaimed, picking up the guide.

"With a record high of two members!"

"True, so true."

* * *

**If you would like, I would very much appreciate every review! I'm not forcing you to do so, but every review gives me a bit of encouragement :D I won't ask for mercy, saying "OMG DIS IS MY 1ST FANFIC PLZ PLZ REVIEW NO FLAMRS THX" because, technically, this is not my first fanfiction, it's just my first fanfic on this website. So thanks for reading, whether you're reviewing or not, just the thought that you read my words is mind-blowingly awesome :D San-Kyuu~! (Thank you, it's just how I've heard it said before so... prepare for that to become a trend with me.)  
**


	2. Kradness's Guide to Hitchhiking

**Unusual placement of Author Note is unusual.**

**No one notices what their names, Kradness and Kaito, reference owo AND YOU'LL NEVAR KNOW, AHAHAHAHAHA.**

**The title is supposed to look like fishies, so don't blame me if the text emojicon doesn't come out on FF D: **

**ϵ( 'Θ' )϶**** | Kradness's Guide to Hitchhiking | ****ϵ( 'Θ' )϶**

"Kradness, Table Five needs more hot sauce."

"Yes ma'am!"

"Hey, waiter, can we have more water here?"

"S-Sure thing!"

"Waiter~!"

"Waiter, please?"

"Hey, waiter?"

His frustration was bubbling on the surface, almost like the oil in the fry cooker that was sizzling in the kitchen. He was probably called "waiter" today more than his own name in his entire life. Really, just really, why did he want to go to the Aether so much? Probably because he's never been to a foreign country before, or something to that extent. That, and he just wanted to not hear the banging of pans every morning to get up at his sister's restaurant. His sister offered him to stay in her home that was on the second floor of the restaurant for free if he worked in her seafood restaurant, and so he decided to quit his job mining and live with her. He planned to do so until he earns enough money to afford an cheap apartment. Emphasis on "cheap."

"Ah!" Kradness exclaimed, running his fingers through his hazel hair, now slightly messier than when he had began his shift. "I'm going crazy!" Grabbing a small bowl of hot sauce, he scurried to the table plopped down the hot sauce. With a brisk, polite bow, he rushed back to the kitchen. He grabbed a pitcher and hurried to another nearby table. With precision, Kradness carefully refilled everyone's glasses. Out of nowhere, he heard a grumbling sound. After finding himself staring at the customer's bowls of steaming food, he realized his stomach was complaining for food like a spoiled child.

He suddenly felt a bit insecure from behind, and turned to see who was staring at him. A girl at a nearby table quickly blushed scarlet, caught red-handed. _Ah... I get it! _Flashing his signature smile, he winked at the girl. However, the wink did not go unnoticed by his sister, who wanted him to focus on his job for his future.

"Kradness! No flirting with customers!"

"It's not flirting, it's thanking them for coming here!"

"Winking is not the custom to thank a customer."

"... It is in the Aether." In reality, he didn't know what was even considered "flirting" there.

She sighed in frustration and continued supervising the kitchen's chefs. Kradness dashed to another table to find money for the meal placed on the table along with a small tip. "Awesome," he commented to himself. However, as he picked up the tip, he saw a map on the table. He looked up and saw an elderly man with a brown hat leaving the restaurant.

"Sir! You dropped this!" Kradness held up the map in the air.

The stranger turned and replied with a polite smile, "Oh, you can keep it." With that, he left the store, the bell on the door gently ringing. Kradness shrugged and folded the map neatly before pocketing it.

"Waiter! We're ready to order!"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

Nibbling on a chocolate bar, Kradness walked through the streets of his town to his childhood friend's apartment where they would count the amount of money they had made that day, thankful he didn't have to listen to his sister's nagging for a bit. Hopefully, they would be one step closer to purchasing tickets to the Aether. He was daydreaming about what types of sights they would see in the Aether as he climbed up the flight of stairs. His shoe accidentally collided with a step by accident, stubbing his toe, but Kradness fortunately managed to keep his balance and not fall. However, the chocolate bar flew out of his hands, immediately melting into the carpet on contact.

_... I didn't like chocolate anyway. _In reality, he would love to drown in a glob of chocolate. Abandoning the chocolate bar, he arrived at his friend's apartment door. It's polite to knock on the door. That's what his sister would say.

Stepping on the pressure plate in front of his door, he barged into his friend's home, not forgetting to close the door so Kaito won't yell at him if a fly also lets himself in. "I'm home!" he announced loudly, similar to the fashion of a sports commentator. Kaito's home was rather cramped, and was all he could afford. It was very neatly kept in contrast to Kradness's room. A slim lamp was placed next to a white couch, and the round, slime-green rug seemed bright and odd against the dark spruce floor. As an ancient clock mounted on the wall rang three times, Kradness plopped himself on the couch, folding his arms behind his head. In the tiny kitchen, Kaito was taking something out of a furnace.

"Manners, Kradness, manners," Kaito grumbled as he placed a steaming fish on a plate.

Acid climbed up Kradness's throat, and he forcefully refrained from puking. He immediately felt sick. "No... no more fish... so much fish..."

Kaito turned in confusion. "What? Do you have something against fish?" He tore a piece of the freshly cooked fish and popped it into his mouth, Kradness responding with a look of horror and disgust.

"Do you know how it feels to be eating seafood everyday?"

"... No. No, I don't." He ate another piece of the fish with a grin. The revolting seafood reminded Kradness of the elderly man who gave him the map at the restaurant. He put his hand in his pocket, his fingers brushing against the map that the old man gave him.

He pulled it out in anticipation. The little childish part of Kradness that was still stuck in second grade practically squealed in excitement, thinking it was something as magical as a treasure map. In contrast, his more mature side thought that the map would just be of the town, and the old man who gave him it was a tourist.

"Ooh, what's that?" Kaito asked, realizing it was a map.

"An old man gave it to me at my sister's restaurant," Kradness said. "Do you think...?"

"Maybe..."

Kradness unfolded the map, Kaito looking over his shoulder curiously. With the map now unfolded, he flattened it out on the wobbly coffee table. They both sighed in unison, thinking the same thing: it was your typical run-of-the-mill map, no hidden treasures, no secret tunnels, no Aether. Just a simple map of the terrain. Both sighed in unison. It was foolish of them to think of such a childish thing.

"Hey, look," Kaito said, pointing his index finger at a blue circle slightly overlapping the city's name. Above the circle were the words they were hoping for, written in blue ink: AETHER PORTAL.

After exchanging the same delighted expressions, Kradness and Kaito immediately jumped off of the couch in excitement, bouncing up and down in what could only be described accurately as two girls fangirling. There was a place! A place with an Aether Portal! Perhaps it would be at a cheap rate! Usually, Aether Portals were located in the busy city with their frustrating traffic, and massive, month-long preparations were needed for the trip. With an Aether Portal that was closer compared to the city, of course they would be so delighted. It was one step - no, ten steps - closer to standing on the clouds of the Aether. They could even go right now, if that was what they really wanted!

Kradness suddenly bolted towards the door in his excitement, leaving Kaito confused. "Where are you going?" he shouted.

"I'm going to go pack!" Kradness called back before dashing down the stairs.

"But we have no money for transporta -" By the time he said those words, Kradness was out of sight.

* * *

Kradness slapped book on the table next to the map an hour later, proudly grinning. Kaito picked up the book and examined the summary in the back of the book. "Even villagers can understand how to hitchhike with this guide? What the...?" He flipped the book over and read the title out loud: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Hitchhiking: Aether Edition...? You want to hitchhike your way to the Aether?"

"Yep!" Kradness beamed, taking the book from his friend's hands. "And this will help us achieve that dream." He cradled the book in his arms like a newborn baby, Kaito looking at it in disbelief.

"Kradness?"

"Yeah?"

"... You really do need a vacation, because I'm sometimes unsure if your sane, but I think I'll go on the more comfortable route by flying to the Aether."

"I know no one uses Aether Portals anymore because they're so dizzying and annoying to find one, but if we hitchhike to the Aether Portal, it's better than slaving around to slowly earn one hundred more ingots for something that we can do right now."

"I'd rather not get into a truck with strangers, thank you very much."

"Also, you can see Aria~"

His childhood friend paused. Kradness smirked and offered the book to him. He turned to Kradness and took the book from his hands with a defeated sigh. "You have a point..." Flipping to the table of contents, Kaito inspected all of the chapters until pointing to the fourth one. "'What to Bring to the Aether,'" he read before turning several pages to the chapter. Kradness grinned in success and satisfaction. Kaito read the section aloud.

"You won't need much to hitchhike, and it is recommended to travel light when hitchhiking. You do need, however, a map, food, and a sign with the destination written on it are necessary to hitchhike."

Kradness sifted through Kaito's pantry before pulling out a cereal box, the neon colors on the cover spelling "GOLDEN APPLE PUFFS." Tearing off the top of the box, Kradness took out the plastic bag of cereal and placed it on the kitchen counter. Grabbing a pair of scissors, he cut the cover of the cereal box. After he was done, he threw the excess cardboard proudly into the furnace. "We have our cardboard!" Kradness proclaimed, holding up the cover of the cereal box like a precious jewel.

"... You just wrecked the cereal box."

"So?"

"There was a code there that you could redeem for a chance to win two tickets to the Aether."

Kradness looked at the ashes of the cardboard in the furnace and turned back to Kaito. "... You weren't going to win, anyway. And have you ever read a story where the hero flies to wherever they're going to rather than taking a long and epic adventure? Like in _The Lord of the Enders_?"

"No."

"Exactly! And you need to rescue the Damsel in Distress, right?"

Kaito looked uncaused. "First of all, she's not a 'Damsel in Distress.' Second, have you ever heard the phrase 'We're just friends?' I'm pretty sure I repeated it more than ten times now."

"And in the end of _The Lord of the Enders_, the loyal hero can be seen making out with the Damsel in -"

"I still have the fish in the fridge."

"What else does it say?" Kradness said, quickly changing the subject.

"Lots of stuff... thirty-nine chapters!"

"... I'm too lazy to read."

"Maybe that's why you failed the first semester of The Aether Fanclub." Kaito continued studying the book, and with every word he read, he got more intrigued. Kradness, however, fatigued from dashing to the bookstore and back as well as working all day, slumped into his friend's couch and shut his eyes.

"Dude!" Kaito said, looking up from his book and noticing Kradness attempting to take a nap. "Don't drool all over my couch when you fall asleep."

"I won't guarantee that, my friend."

"In that case, I'll draw a mustache on your face. You know, I've been thinking, do you think we'll need to bring umbrellas to the Aether? In here is says that..."

Soon, his voice faded away with Kaito's apartment, and he slowly dived into a world of dreams. The floor suddenly was soft, and although he knew it was grass, if seemed as if it was worthy of being stuffed into a pillow and sold for a thousand iron ingots. Looking around, he realized he was in the Aether. Well, what his mind thinks is the Aether. He could almost touch the floating islands that looked similar to the one that he was standing in. The air was crisp and fresh, untouched by pollution.

Is this how the Aether really looked like? Or was it his dreams enhancing the beauty of the Aether? Either one was fine with him, as long as he got to enjoy this fantasy for as long as possible. Suddenly, a blanket of brown began to fall onto the world. Panic settled in as Kradness fled away until he realized that the brown blanket was actually his favorite, mouthwatering treat: chocolate. He stood still, and the sweet chocolate melted onto him, making him a chocolate-covered Kradness. Wiping off the chocolate the best he can, he was about to take a chomp of a massive chocolate cloud until he heard something interesting.

_Splat!_

A fish fell down in front of him, spraying chocolate all over his clothes, followed by the nagging of his older sister flooding into his ears. Like a chipmunk, she chattered in her high-pitched voice, "Kradness! I'm so worried about you, you idiot! Do you know what time it is? If your friend didn't answer, I would've called the police! Next time you do this, I'm going to lock you out of the house!" Instantly, the Aether vanished into the darkness, and he opened his eyes to see himself back in Kaito's home after his fantasy.

Kaito held the phone in front of Kradness, an awkward expression on his face. Being her younger brother, he automatically knew that Kaito was fooled by her friendly, squeaky voice, thinking she was as dangerous as a pig. She was as dangerous as a pig, although you'll have to replace the word "pig" with "pissed," "off," "zombie," and "pigman."

"Gah! Okay, okay, okay, I'm coming home, Meeka! Stop yelling!" Of course he's very grateful for his sister and her generosity, but when she's angry you can feel the ground tremble beneath your feet at her own voice. Kradness quickly stood up and before his sister could shoot more bullets, he took the phone from Kaito's hand and with a press of a button, her voice was silenced.

Kaito looked at him with a shocked and confused expression. "She sounded nice when I talked to her! Is your sister bipolar or something?"

"Nope, she's just my sister." Kradness glanced at the time and muttering a quick farewell to his friend, left the apartment and scurried to his sister's house. Of course he had to be woken up in the middle of a dream with the Aether. His luck was just horrible like that. On the other hand, he did find a map that marked the spot in which an Aether Portal was located, so perhaps his luck hasn't failed him.

Before he could stop walking forward, he collided into a figure because he was contemplating if luck was on his side. "Wah! Sorry, sorry, I -" He recognized the girl from the restaurant, and she was oddly stifling a laugh, as if the sight of his face was the most hilarious joke she had ever seen. Didn't she just stared at me in the rester aunt a few hours ago...? Kradness stared at her with a confused expression, wondering what was so comedic to her.

She couldn't hold in her laughter anymore, and snorted, "Nice mustache!" before walking away. Kradness, still bewildered at the girl's strange behavior, looked at his reflection in the glass of a shop selling old hats. In black ink, a mustache was drawn above his upper lip. Surprisingly, instead of chaining a line of swear words, he bursted into laughter at his own reflection. "S-So that's how Kaito felt wearing that 'stache!" He was sure some strangers were staring at him, thinking he was a psycho, but he didn't care. After calming down, Kradness made a mental note to never take a nap at Kaito's place before making his way to his sister's restaurant.

When the restaurant was in sight, he noticed the sign on the front door was now turned over to say "closed," and all of the chefs and waiters had left. His older sister was sitting in one of the tables, biting the tip of her pink Hello Piggy pen and glaring at a stack of paperwork. Rings from the bell signaled his return as he entered the restaurant. His sister was so absorbed in her work that she didn't even look up from her work.

"Need help? Although I hate reading, I'm pretty good at math." He pointed to his head.

Meeka responded with a sisterly smile. "Yep. Can you add this all up?" She handed him a bunch of receipts with one hand, still inspecting the document. Before starting to help his sister, Kradness looked out the window and saw a small, bright light dash in front of his eyes. With delighted eyes, he shook Meeka's shoulders. "Meeka! Meeka! Meeka! Did you see that? Did you see the shooting star? Did you? Did you?"

"No."

"... You're no fun." At first, he wanted to wish for a trip to the Aether, but after quickly glancing at his hard-working, persistent sibling, he wished for all her hard work to pay off someday. Kradness started adding numbers up into the calculator, aiding Meeka.

* * *

Melting away, abandoned in a flight of stairs, a chocolate bar wimpered for its owner. Footsteps in the distance slowly became louder, and the lonely chocolate bar was swallowed by the darkness of what is commonly known as the trashcan.

* * *

**AND YOU ALL FORGOT ABOUT THE CHOCOLATE BAR. HOW COULD YOU GUISE BE SO HEARTLESS? (Yes, I made two more line breaks just for this. I HAD TO.)  
**

***bows* Annyeong, Philosophia speaking~!**

**I have a feeling Kradness is insane like me. I mean, come on, it's not everyday you see a guy with a mustache drawn on his face laughing at his own reflection in the middle of the night. If you do, what type of town do you live in? I TOTALLY WANT TO LIVE THERE AND BE BFFS WITH KRADNESS AND KAITO, MAN ;A; **

**KRADNESS HAS AN ADDICTION TO CHOCOLATE, BUT IT'S NOT AS BAD AS MY ADDICTION TO CAPS LOCK - *shot***

**At first, the chocolate bar was just to add to my word count, but then I decided I could take this even farther than I originally planned xD**

**Buy your own chocolate-covered Kradness for $19.99! Handling not included, but the shipping is free! WE SHIP LIKE FEDEX, MAN :D**

**Speaking of ships, I don't think I'll give Kradness a love interest... just 'cuz... o3o I think one ship is enough for this since this is a rather smaller, less complex project than AToVE :3 It's just his personality: carefree and flirty xD And in contrast, Kaito is more mature. ^^~**

**This is wayyyyy different from Atove XD I HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER (no I don't). o3o Imagine me looking all cute and innocent when I write comedy with cute pigtails and a frilly dress, and then imagine me as a total badass when I write AToVE. Okay, I'll get to work on that right away~!  
**

**Kradness got a job change. O3O... It's more unique than being a miner. Dat's meh alibi.**

**Author Me: That's a terrible alibi.**

**That's a terrible attitude.**

**Author Me: You do know that you're arguing with yourself, right?**

**You do know that you're responding to me when you don't need to, right?**

**Author Me: What a sad life, arguing with yourself and getting off-topic.**

**Kradness: *winks* ;)**

**KRADNESS! STAHP FLIRTING WITH THE FEMALE PORTION OF THE AUDIENCE. **

**Kradness: *doing rolling-down-car-window motion* Ayy, girl, can I buy you a drink? :D**

**Author Me: Again with the reference no one gets. *sighs* Wow...**

**Kradness: *sexy face* Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven 'cuz -**

**... *holds up fish***

**Kradness: T-THAT'S ALL FOLKS! *runs away***

**Sigh... and I didn't even permit him to be here. I don't even think he memorized his lines yet, ugh. KRADNESS! COME BACK HERE! *grabs stack of papers and runs off-stage for Kradness because HE EATS CHOCOLATE BARS INSTEAD OF MEMORIZING HIS LINES***

_**_*Philosophia*_**_


End file.
